Run Away
by Verboten Byacolate
Summary: I'll never be your perfect girl.


Disclaimer; Shouldn't the damn word be enough for you people? I don't own InuYasha or "Runaway." I just own the fic. You should know that by now.

* * *

_I've got my things packed._

_My favorite pillow._

_Got my sleeping bag._

* * *

He was her hanyou. He had to be. Just because he traveled with me didn't mean that he was mine. Or I was his. But I shouldn't be selfish. I shouldn't wish that she would go fall off a cliff... again. I shouldn't wish that she'd die... again. But I do. Because I love him. But I let him go to her. Because I love him. I always heard the phrase, 

'If you love something, let it go. And if it's meant to be, then it will come back,'

but I never really understood it. But now I do. I've experienced it first-hand. I let him go, but he always comes back. Does that mean that we are meant to be? I shouldn't hope. Because it's the exact same way with him and Kikyou; she lets him go, but he always comes back.

Does that mean _they_ are meant to be?

* * *

_All the pictures and pain_

_I've left behind._

_All the freedom and fame_

* * *

I got up from my sleeping mat. I lifted my backpack on to my back and looked around Kaede's hut at the five of my friends that never broke my heart. They were all sleeping soundly; all but the old priestess who said to me as I was exiting the hut, 

"Where are ye going, Kagome?"

I jumped at her voice, and being busted.

"I'm going home for a while, Kaede. I need some time alone... some time away."

The kind lady nodded and I smiled at her. I left the hut quietly, the curtain swinging in my wake. I could see a single soul-collector hovering in the distance above the trees. It wasn't until a breeze drifted by that I realized I was crying.

* * *

_And I wonder_

_how long it'll take them_

_to notice that I'm gone._

_And I wonder how far it'll take me_

_to run away._

_Run away_

_run away_

* * *

At home, every one but the kitchen light was off. Mama was sitting at the table, a hot cup of tea in her hands, and watched silently as I came in. One look at her, and a steady flow of tears washed my cheeks. I ran to her open arms, and burried myself into her embrace, soaking her shirt. It was such a familiar place, crying my eyes out in the arms of the woman who gave birth to me. I was sure she would be sick of it, but she just stroked my hair, and waited patiently for me to explain the waterworks. I really don't give her enough credit. 

When I pulled back and brushed the tears away from my cheeks, she spoke.

"Kagome?"

"Thanks, mama."

I sighed.

"I just needed to come home for a while."

She waited.

"He won't mind."

"Ah," my mother said, and wrapped her arms around me again. Was that a smile on her face?

* * *

_I was just trying to be myself_

_You can go your way, _

_I'll meet you in hell_

_All these secrets that I shouldn't tell_

* * *

"Why don't you go take a bath, dear? I'm sure you'll feel much better after a nice hot bath, and then we can talk." 

So guess what?

I took a bath.

* * *

_It's hypocritical of you_

_Do as you say, not as you do._

_I'll never be your perfect girl_

* * *

Damn that InuYasha. Why does he have to play such cruel games with my heart? Why can't he just choose; me or Kikyou? Alright; I'm going to narrow things down between us right now. Ways Kikyou is a better choice than me. 

"One; Kikyou never misses her target with an arrow. I can't.

Two; She's always so calm, and never freaks out. I do. Therefore, she wins.

Three; She's beautiful. That may have nothing to do with anything, but with her beauty and strength combined, she's one helluva woman. I could never be as strong nor as beautiful as Kikyou.

Four; She doesn't need to be saved, ever. But I'm always the damsel in distress, and I feel so helpless and weak when I'm around my fuedal-era friends and Kikyou. Why can't I be as good as her?

Five; She came first. That'll always be the single most important reason for InuYasha to return to her. And he always will, no matter the promises he makes to me."

* * *

_Well I'm too young to be_

_taken seriously_

_But I'm too old to believe_

* * *

I voiced my opinions and revelations to my mother after I got out of the tub. She just listened as I got angrier every minute, and started ranting. After I had told her about te empty promises that could be made, I became less angry and more depressed. 

_Damn the fact that I'm so right!_

Mama took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently. With her other hand, she touched my cheek.

"Sweetie... I know you love him."

My eyes widened and I pulled back again to face her.

"Love is a wonderful feeling, isn't it?"

"Love hurts."

"Yes, but love heals." She smiled at me, and I wanted so badly to believe her. "And I know that he hurts you every time he goes off with... Kikyou, was it? Yes, Kikyou. Sweet-heart, I'm glad you realize that she came first, and I'm very glad that you aren't being selfish in letting him go to her. But... but what if he doesn't love her quite as much anymore? What if he's realizing that it's time to move on?"

"But... mom, he loved her," I protested. "You can't just fall in and out of love... though I wish InuYasha could. No, forget I said that. Mama, I'm so selfish!" I cried, hugging my mother tightly again. "But I love him so much! I c-can't stop loving him! I d-don't want to, but I sh-should because he belongs to Kikyou."

Great. I had stooped to blubbering. What was next? What could possibly be worse?

"Oh, but he doesn't. He doesn't belong to Kikyou. Right now, InuYasha doesn't belong to anyone, because of indecision. But I'm sure that he... I'm sure that he will come to see how much you love him. He's not stupid, honey."

* * *

_And I wonder how long it'll take them_

_to see my bed is made_

_and I wonder_

* * *

"No, he's not. But I am. I'm stupid for falling in love with him, when I always knew that he and Kikyou..." 

"I understand, Kagome. But you're not stupid, nor have you ever been. Falling in love is not stupid, either. Love is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Love heals all wounds."

"I thought that was time."

"Yes, but love heals them faster and more efficiantly."

"I'll have to remember that."

"You bet you will."

A smile flitters across my face quickly before it is lost in the sorrow of a frown.

"Besides that, love conquers all. You knew that, Kagome."

"Not in my case, mom. Love just breakes me; chops me into little tiny pieces and leaves my for the vultures. And then, there is nothing else of me to conquer. So love moves on."

Mother looked at me worriedly.

"You're not going to start writing dark poetry, are you?"

I stared at her.

* * *

_I might have no where left to go_

_but I know that I cannot go home_

_These voices trapped inside my head_

* * *

"Honey, you should go back. They'll be waiting for you. They'll wonder where you've gone." 

"No, they won't. I told Kaede when I left. And, besides; he won't be there."

"Oh no?"

"No. He usually stays with her, or away from us, until morning."

"Ah."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"What should I do?"

"You should tell him how you feel."

"I meant... I meant, should I just... stay here? I mean, once the Shikon no Tama is completed, I'll have to decide on which time to stay in... forever."

"Oh! Honey..."

* * *

_Chase the rainbows in my mind_

_and I will try to stay alive_

_Maybe the world will know my name_

_GOD won't you help me run away!_

_Run away_

_run away_

* * *

"I can't decide that for you, Kagome. Your grandfather, Souta, and I would miss you deeply if you left, but... your happiness comes first." 

"I don't want to leave them... but, I don't want to leave you, either. I don't know if I could choose just one."

"You are definately the most complicated teenager in the world, honey."

"It's nothing to be proud of."

"Mmm, maybe not. But, still, dear, you should go back."

"Why are you so insistant on me leaving? Don't you want me to stay?"

"Honey," she said, draping her arms around my shoulders and pressing her forehead against mine,"what do you want me to say? That you should stay here and never go back? That you should just forget the man you love and go about life normally? Well, you know I won't say that; I'll never, ever try to make you do something against your will, Kagome. I love you, and want what's best for you. And I can tell that that's what you want for InuYasha. But, really; what is best for him?"

"I don't know, mom. I wish I did. I really, really do."

A single tear strolled down my cheek.

"What should I do, mama?"

* * *

_I could sing for change_

_on a Paris street;_

_Be a redlight dancer_

_in New Orleans_

_I could start again,_

_choose a family._

_I could change my name;_

* * *

"Honey, you know that I can't tell you how to do everything! You'll never learn, if I do. I try to help you make the right decisions... the smart decisions. But I can't decide everything for you. Once you start a family of your own; a life of your own, I won't be able to hold your hand and lead you down the path; I can only point you in the right direction, pat you on the back, and wish you a safe journey. You're an adult now. But..." 

She kissed my forehead.

"You'll always be my baby."

She glanced at the clock on the wall.

"Oh my! Is it that late already?"

I looked at the clock, too.

"Well, mom, I think the proper word would be 'early'."

She smiled.

"Yes, I guess so."

She fixed me with a stare.

"So are you going back?"

* * *

_In the dead of night_

_you'll wonder where I've gone._

_Wasn't it you_

_(wasn't it you?)_

_wasn't it you that_

* * *

"I... I don't know." 

And the surprise I recieved after that statement practically killed me.

"Grrr... Wench! You're so indecisive! Why can't you just make up your mind!"

"INUYASHA!"

He appeared from the shadowy corner of the kitchen, his hands folded in his sleeves, puppy ears flat against his head. A scowl was on his lips, yet his eyes held something other than annoyance... Hope? Love? No, certainly not the latter. I looked at mama to see what her reaction was from his sudden appearance. She didn't seem affected in the least. In fact, she smiled, stood up, and exited the room without a word. Which left me. And InuYasha. My feelings were out in the open. Now, what were his?

* * *

_I was just trying to be myself_

_you go your way, I'll meet you in hell._

_All these secrets that I shouldn't tell_

* * *

"Why aren't you with Kikyou?" 

Apparently, the words were surprising to the hanyou.

"Why are you always so worried about me and Kikyou?" Then, quickly, he added, "Kagome, you are _not_ lesser than Kikyou! In fact, in some ways, you're better." He slowly proceeded in my direction. "In a lot of ways," he added quietly. Soon, he was upon me.

"Kagome..." He took my upper arms in his grasp. "I told you before," his voice lowered to a soft growl. "I won't leave you alone like that again. Not for Kikyou. I promised."

"InuYasha... I would never make you promise to stop seeing her. It... hurts me when you see her, but... but... because I... because I love you... your happiness comes first. I wouldn't make you promise against seeing her; you shouldn't promise something like that."

"Why not?"

"Because... she came first."

Though I had grown very quiet, his ears had, of course, picked up the words I uttered. His grip held fast for a minute, but then, he let me go. I didn't know if the break in our connection waas a relief or a pain. But, before I could figure it out, his arms had encircled me, and he pulled me tight against him.

"It doesn't matter, Kagome. Not anymore."

"But-"

He growled and pulled back a little to face me.

"Kagome, you are not making this easy."

My fists clenched and a shiver of rage overtook me.

"_Not making this easy_?"

Uh oh. The 'sit' tone.

"How do you think I felt for the past two years? I've been in love with you for so long, and now that it's all out, you want me to make it _easy_? After all the times you went after her, not even caring about anything but finding her? Everything just wiped out of your mind when you even heard an inkling of a rumor of her whereabouts, don't deny it! I know how you are, InuYasha! I do! And, after all the pain, everytime, you want me to make this _easy_?"

* * *

_It's hypocritical of you_

_do as you say,_

_not as you do._

_I'll never be your perfect girl._

* * *

"Kagome." 

"What?"

And then, everything else was flushed out of my mind by way of a kiss. Yeah, a kiss. A heart-stopping, pulse-pounding, mind-blowing, fireworks-and-heaven kiss, but a kiss none the less. Yeah, it was the best kiss I'd ever had (the second, really, but still!), but it was still just a kiss.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd been waiting for this moment for over two years. I'd just never expected it to happen in the kitchen of the Higurashi shrine at 1:30 in the morning. But, being the best kiss I ever had, I guess the location didn't matter. I just hoped we'd do it again soon.

"InuYasha."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Kagome, I should be thanking you."

"No. You should be kissing me."

As he grinned, his fang peeked out.

"As you wish."

And before he brought me back into the mind-numbing place that only we could share, the words I had waited for for longer than the kiss were breathed.

"I love you, Kagome."

* * *

_This life makes no sense to me..._

_It don't make any sense to me..._

_It don't make any sense to me..._

_Life don't make any sense to me._

**

* * *

**

_Fin_

* * *

**Edit; I wrote this a long time ago, but I decided that it needed a bit of editing. I don't like it much, but I didn't want to delete it...**

**-Bya-chan**


End file.
